Mean Little Piggies

"Your Honor, my client strongly claims that he was falsely accused by the 3 mean pigs," stated Ryan, the lawyer of the 'Big Bad Wolf'. "This is the story that my defendant has told me: the other night, a man with brute force and a hunting rifle came in search of the wolves. He was sound asleep until a deafening sound came to his ears. He woke up in horror and when he had heard the sound again, he quickly ran for his life.

"He had lost his home and was now traveling down the road and you can imagine how starving and dirty he looked. If anyone was to see him in that condition, they would've called the police. Anyway, he walked and walked until he saw 2 fat, little pigs dancing around and singing happily. He was so relieved to find people here and so he approached them. When he slowly approached them to ask them kindly for food, the 2 little pigs saw him, and started attacking him with their sticks."

"HEY! You're lying! We never attacked him, he attacked US!" cried the pig.

"Don't you dare!" rebutted the wolf, "You approached me with sticks and violently att..."

"ORDER! Order! The defendant may continue," said the judge in a calm, yet firm voice.

"As I was saying, your honor, the 2 little pigs came up to him with weapons, and attacked him. And anyone would react back to that, right? So he got up and tried to grab their weapons, but instead, he accidentally grabbed one of the pig's neck and the other mistook him for strangling and trying to kill the other pig. When my client realized what he was doing, he quickly let go and tried to apologize, but as soon as his grip loosened, the pigs ran away to their respective homes. He quickly got up, wiped the dirt off himself and went to the pig's home to apologize. His house was made of straw and he knocked on the loose door. But instead of answering, the pig raised his voice and spoke insults to the innocent wolf. When he had heard this, it offended him so much that tears dripped down from his eyes. But suddenly, he felt his nose tingle and he squeezed his nose as hard as he can, but it happened. He sneezed. After he opened his eyes from all the tingly feeling from his nose, he noticed that the poor little pig's house was obliterated. He felt the need to apologize even more to the little pigs, so he went after the 2nd house, and he found out that the next house was built out of wood. As he was walking over, dirt got into his nose, and he huffed and puffed and sneezed. He felt so sorry, that he was on a verge to just go without asking for any food. But he was so hungry, that he knocked on the door that was built out of brick. But no one answered, so he tried knocking again. When they didn't answer for the second time, he knocked again, but this time, the third pig came out with fire and chased him away. And that is why my client is innocent, your honor."